Jealousy
by Racoda Moonshine
Summary: "Jealousy is that pain which a man feels from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved by the person whom he entirely loves" - Joseph Addison. WARNING! This contains rather zesty slashy lemon!


_**Jealousy**_

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><p>"No Spock. I can't…I can't help you with your relationship with Uhura." I told him, barely managing to keep my hands from shaking.<p>

Spock's near black eyes were almost drilling into me and it made the butterflies in my stomach do somersaults.

"Why not Captain? I hope I have not offended you in some way because I-"

"No you haven't offended me Spock and I told you to call me Jim when we aren't on duty but I just can't…," I sighed tiredly, "I'm not the best person to talk to about your relationship."

Spock just looked at me, his eyebrow now slightly quirked. Why was it so sexy when he did that!

"Captain, I fail to understand. I had come to the conclusion that we are friends." Spock told me, ignoring my comment and continuing to act like we were on the bridge.

I rubbed my forehead in frustration.

"We are Spock, I just…I can't okay?" I said, knowing full well that that was a completely feeble explanation.

Spock slowly walked over to me, standing about a metre away but his stance was still rigid and professional.

"Captain I fear I do not understand what is so upsetting to you. You have showed no problem with my relationship with Lieutenant Uhura before." He said.

I bit my lip to stop myself from saying something stupid. Something along the lines of "why would I have a problem with you shacking up with some amazingly beautiful, intelligent and sexy woman?".

I turned away, suddenly not able to take that piercing stare anymore.

"Captain, please tell me what is on your mind." I heard Spock say.

He sounded concerned, genuinely concerned but that was impossible…right?

I didn't say anything.

I didn't know _what _to say!

"Capta-"

"_Spock_, just don't…" I cut in quickly. I was swiftly losing my composure.

"Captain, please…" Spock almost whispered.

I sighed again. I didn't mean to make this difficult for him.

Why couldn't he have just gone to Bones?

I could feel a headache coming on and I ran my hands through my hair.

"Jim…"

That broke me down.

His voice was as soft and unguarded as I'd ever heard it and it shot right through me.

I turned sharply and glared at him, suddenly feeling so angry that he'd managed to get to me so easily.

"Fine! You really want to know why I can't help you with your relationship with Uhura? Because I _hate_ it!" I shouted.

Spock's eyes widened a fraction.

"I hate the fact that you're with her, that you kiss her, that you-" My voice faltered as I felt tears forming in my eyes.

"I hate the fact that, while you're with her, every bone in my body is telling me that you should be with _me_! That I love you so much more than _she _ever could! So you see Spock, _that's _why I can't discuss with you how to woo Uhura, or how to show her how much you love her! It's because I'm not a big enough person to help you be happy with anyone other than me!" I bellowed, tears now streaming down my face.

I fell to my knees, hunching over and wishing that the floor would just swallow me up. Spock stayed silent for a few moments before he knelt down in front of me.

"Jim, look at me." I heard Spock say.

I didn't respond, trying to muffle the sounds of my crying by wrapping my arms around my head.

I felt hands on my arms and I let Spock gently pull my arms away from my face.

"Spock, what-" I cut myself short when my voice cracked with emotion.

"Jim I wanted to discuss Lieutenant Uhura with you because I did not know how to tell her that I find myself…in love with someone else." He explained to me.

I looked up abruptly, my eyes wide with shock.

"Spock…" I whispered.

"You are better with…emotions than I, you would know what to say." Spock continued. I could feel my cheeks blushing furiously.

"Spock, please say you're…" I trailed off, forcing myself to calm down before I completely collapsed.

"Please say I am what Jim?" Spock asked. If I didn't know better I would have thought he was being sarcastic. I swallowed nervously before speaking.

"Talking about…" I couldn't finish my sentence, my mouth drying up completely.

"About what Jim?" Spock urged. My breath caught in my throat.

"Me." I whimpered. Spocks eyes shone as he leant forward, closing the already tiny gap between the us.

"I am talking about you, Jim." He stated simply.

I flew forward into Spocks' arms, kissing him like my life depended upon it. Spock lost his balance and fell onto his back, me landing on top of him.

Neither of us seemed to care as we continued to kiss. Spocks' body was warm against mine, every inch of my skin burning at his touch.

Spock could probably feel the tears on my cheeks because when we broke apart he brought his hands up to my face and trailed his thumbs down the tear tracks on my face. I felt the spark as his mind filtered through my skin and intertwined into my own thoughts.

I smirked suddenly, letting the darker regions of my mind trickle through and fill Spock with every dirty fantasy I had ever had about the Vulcan before me.

Spock shivered.

Actually _shivered!_

His hands cupped my face more firmly and his tongue swiped across his lips in an attempt to moisten them.

I could feel his lust leaking into me and it made me feel deliciously dizzy.

"Spock, I want you." I said, my voice dripping with desire. Spock's eyes could only be described as predatory, like he was an animal looking over his prey.

"Jim, you should not say things that could be misunderstood or seen as sexually inviting." He told me.

I chuckled, turning my head to the side and placing a kiss into the centre of Spock's palm.

"Jim." Spock all but growled. I was loving the fact that I was slowly managing to make him lose his Vulcan composure.

"Yes Spock?" I asked innocently, smiling at him, running my lips along his fingertips.

Spock just looked at me, unable to voice anything but as his other hand was still resting on my face I could _feel _his arousal.

I slipped my tongue out and slid it along his finger. Spock shuddered and mumbled something under his breath. I took his middle finger into my mouth and sucked on it softly, scratching his skin with my teeth.

Spock moaned and his eyes closed, his mouth jarring open as he inhaled sharply.

I swirled my tongue around his finger teasingly before he ripped both his hands away from me and smashed his lips against mine.

My breath caught in my throat as Spock's hands slowly slipped under my yellow shirt and then moaned into his mouth as his fingers slipped beneath my black undershirt and stroked my stomach.

With my legs angled so that one was on each side of his hips I could feel his erection pressing insistently against mine which I have to admit, was bloody _brilliant_!

I had given Spock an erection.

_Me_!

I ground my hips against Spock's, the friction between us ripping the oxygen from my lungs and leaving me gasping with pleasure. In response to my action, a low rumble sounded from Spock's throat.

"Jim…T'hy'la…" Spock groaned.

I continued sucking on his neck, my tongue trailing up until I reached the top of his neck where I bit softly at his earlobe.

A twang of electric pleasure sparked through my whole body as Spock suddenly tweaked my nipples hard, my mouth falling open in a loud pant leaving him free to plunder my mouth with his tongue. We continued to kiss ferociously, our tongues battling with each other as Spock's hands stroked up and down my chest.

I suddenly pulled back, sitting astride him and looking down at his flushed cheeks and blown pupils. I rest my hands on his chest, smirking down at him seductively.

"Jim, what are y-"

Spock's words transformed into a loud groan as I bounced slightly, grinding my ass against his crotch.

His hands gripped my hips tightly and I knew full well there would be finger shaped bruises there in the morning but I didn't care because the look in Spock's eyes was worth it.

"Did you like that Spock? Want more?" I hissed, slowly moving my hips in small circles.

Spock just looked at me, his eyes almost black as they stared up at me. I licked my lips slowly and that seemed to snap something within my Vulcan (yes _my _Vulcan) because I was suddenly being carried over to my bed and thrown down onto the soft linen sheets, my body quickly being covered by a much hotter (in both senses of the word) body which was just as aroused as mine.

"Spock, please. Fuck me." I said, my voice quivering slightly. Spock's lips quirked into a small smile as he leant down and kissed me soundly.

"As you wish Jim." He whispered against my lips.

That's all I needed. I flipped us over so that I now sat astride Spocks hips again. I ripped off my shirt and threw it aside, smirking at the look of lust that flashed in Spock's eyes.

I quickly stripped him of his shirt and began to work on his trousers.

In one swift movement, I had Spock naked on my bed. I think I've died and gone to paradise!

Spock then took his sweet-ass time to take off my trousers, his fingers grazing my erection deliberately.

Once both of us were naked I leant across Spock and reached into my bedside drawer, pulling out some lube.

Spock looked at me questioningly. I chuckled.

"So, I might have been hoping you'd eventually come to your senses for quite awhile and you know me! Always prepared." I told him, a large grin on my face.

Spock pulled me down and kissed me passionately.

I could feel his erection twinning mine and it was driving me wild. I pulled back and gestured for Spock to give me his hand and I poured lube into his fingers.

Spock gasped as the cool liquid covered his skin, well that's what I'm assuming he gasped at because it couldn't possibly be because I had just rubbed lube onto his cock(!)

"Jim!" Spock cried out as I slowly pumped my hand up and down his cock, smoothing the lube across him.

"SPOCK!" I suddenly screamed.

Spock's finger thrust further into my ass and he bit my neck roughly.

Soon I had three of the Vulcan's fingers in my ass and a horny Spock attached to my lips. Spocks fingers suddenly found my sweet spot and hit it full force, making me cry out in delight.

"Jim, you are ready." Spocks steady voice said into my ear. I let out a jagged breath.

"Damn right I am." I hissed back.

I sat up, flexing my back muscles as I positioned myself above Spock's cock. I paused, looking down at Spock and smiling.

I was about to have sex with Spock.

_I _was about to have _sex _with _Spock_!

"Take your time if you need Jim, I-"

Again, my actions turned Spocks words into incoherent moans.

I slammed down onto his cock, feeling him stretching me to my limit and _GOD _did it feel good!

Spock's head titled back in pleasure, his eyes closing and his mouth jarring open.

I hesitated for a moment, just feeling him inside me. I began to rotate my hips, grinding on his cock. Spock moaned loudly.

"Jim, Jim please…" Spock trailed off.

I slowly pulled him out of me before slamming back down again. I did this a few more times before Spock mirrored my movement, thrusting up to meet my movement and driving me insane.

My brain was fried with pleasure and all I could feel was Spock inside of me. I began to bounce atop him, angling myself so that his cock hit me in just the right place every time.

I was panting and sweating and I didn't care because I could feel myself losing control, my thoughts slipping through my fingers and all I could manage to say was incoherent words and noises.

Then I was on my back.

Spock flipped us over and thrust into me, holding my legs over his shoulders.

"Spock! Oh Spock harder! _Harder_!" I begged.

Spock denied me my plea and continued to steadily thrust into me, keeping a leisurely rhythm.

I couldn't take it any longer, he was driving me crazy!

"Spock please! Fuck me harder! Please!" I cried.

My eyes were squeezed shut and I think if I opened them and saw him looming over me, that predatory look in his eyes then I would just cum right then. Spock pulled out of me, the tip of his cock just ghosting over my, now stretched, hole.

He pounded into me.

Full force.

I felt like I was being ripped apart and _damn _it felt so good!

Spock continued to pound into me, picking up the pace every time.

"Oh yes Spock! Fuck me! Right there, don't…don't stop!" I all but screamed. Spock thrust into me and I could feel my toes curl as my pleasure levels reached critical.

"Spock, I'm gonna…I'm-"

Stars exploded in front of my eyes as I screamed Spocks name as my orgasm shattered though me.

It only took a few moments before Spock came too, filling my ass as he moaned loudly.

He pulled out of me and collapsed beside me, both of us panting for breath. I rolled over onto my side and snuggled up against him, resting my head against his chest. Spock's arms coiled around me protectively and he all but purred as I littered soft kisses on his chest.

Spock's voice came out huskily as he tried to catch his breath.

"Jim, that was-"

"Fucking brilliant? I know." I cut in, looking up at the Vulcan and smirking. Spock raised an eyebrow, staring down at me.

"Yes Jim, I suppose that description will suffice." He said. I laughed, moving closer and burying my face into his neck. I felt my eyes becoming heavy and I sighed heavily.

"Jim, I regret to inform you that we must be on the bridge in 2 hours and 3 minutes." Spock told me. I chuckled, kissing at his neck and softly nipping him.

"Well then, you'll just have to keep me awake." I whispered, rolling on top of him and grinding my hips against his. Spock moaned and kissed me forcefully. I felt his hands cup my ass and grind me against him again. We both groaned into each other's mouths.

"You ready for round two lover?" I hissed. Spock growled quietly and hitched his head forward, kissing me possessively and turning my brain to mush.

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><p><em><strong>Hope you guys liked that ^_^ I know I liked writing it! <strong><em>Review pleaaaaase<em>** xx  
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